Dating vs Marriage

Dating – farting is never an issue.
Married – you make sure there’s nothing flammable near your husband at all times.

Dating – he takes you out to have a good time
Married – he brings home a 6-pack, and says “What are you drinking?”

Dating – he holds your hand in public.
Married – he flicks your ear in public.

Dating – a Single bed for 2 isn’t THAT bad.
Married – a King size bed feels like an army cot.

Dating – you are turned on at the sight of him naked.
Married – you think to yourself “Was he ALWAYS this hairy?”

Dating – you enjoyed foreplay.
Married – you tell him “If we have sex, will you leave me alone?”

Dating – he hugs you, when he walks by you for no reason.
Married – he grabs your boob any chance he gets.

Dating – you picture the two of you growing old together.
Married – you wonder who will die first.

Dating – just looking at him makes you feel all “mushy” inside.
Married – whenever you look at him, you want to claw his eyes out.

Dating – he knows what the “hamper” is.
Married – the floor will suffice as a dirty clothes storage area.

Dating – he understands if you “Aren’t in the mood.”
Married – he says “It’s your job!”

Dating – he understands that you have “male” friends.
Married – he thinks all guys are all out to steal you away.

Dating – he likes to “discuss” things.
Married – he develops a “blank” stare.

Dating – he calls you by name.
Married – he calls you “Hey” and refers to you as “She” when speaking to others.