Dazed and Confucius

Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night.
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
Man who fish in other man’s well, often catch crabs.
Man who sit on tack, get point.

Man who jump off cliff, jump to hasty conclusion.
Man who stand on toilet, high on pot.
Man who stick foot in mouth, get athlete’s tongue.
Man who live in glass house, should change clothes in basement.

Virgin like bubble. One prick. All gone.
Man who make love in grass, get piece on Earth.
Man who eat many prunes, sit on toilet many moons.
Bird in hand make hard to blow nose.

Man who put head on track to listen for train, likely to get splitting headache.
Man who tell too many light bulb joke, soon burn out.
Man who behave like ass, become butt of joke.
Marriage like poker. Start with pair. End with full house.

Man who run in front of car get tired. Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Foolish Man give wife grand piano. Wise Man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways, going to Bangkok.
Man with one chopstick, go hungry.

Man who sneeze with no tissue, take matters into own hands..
Man who fart in church, sit in own pew.
Man who make mistake on elevator, wrong on many levels.
Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient.